Written by Mary Stites, (University of Kansas) Student Correspondent CET Vietnam: Community-Based Learning, Summer 2018
For someone who wears as much tie-dye, hugs as many trees, and headbangs to as much Grateful Dead and Jimi Hendrix as yours truly, I am consistently astonished about how much I didn’t (and/or don’t) know about Vietnam. I’ve always been infatuated by the development of the counter-culture identity and the rise of the hippie movement, and I have often pondered what I must have done wrong in a past life that disallowed me from partaking in Haight-Ashbury festivities and watching the formation of Greenpeace. And yet, while I knew that activism against America’s role in Vietnam was a mobilizing and binding element of the American hippie movement, I had very little concept of what they were actually protesting.
I’ll assume a substantial amount of responsibility in regards to my own ignorance. However, I’m realizing that the molding of my mind, the skewed one at that, might have been rather intentional. And I’ve become increasingly aware of how many of my peers and friends had no idea of what the war was fought over and that we actually “lost.”
In the past month, I’ve not only learned a great deal about the war from the Vietnamese perspective—both through personal and guided observances—but I’ve also spent a great deal of time revisiting writing about the war from the American perspective. I’ve re-read a personal favorite, The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien, re-read numerous articles on the US involvement in South East Asia, and even found my old AP US History notes to figure out if I had personally missed something. And I found it awfully interesting that in these materials there is little mention of many of the actions of the United States.
I like to consider myself to be a relatively well-read, well-educated human, but in my efforts to truly understand what actually occurred in Vietnam and to further understand the role that my country played in the war, I’ve found it very easy to acquire a decent sense of resentment towards the rather poor diplomatic decision-making that occurred on behalf of the American government. It’s frustrating. But what was even more disappointing was that I went my entire life so far with absolutely no understanding of the occurrences of this time, and I probably would have gone my entire life with this unawareness had I not gotten on a plane to witness the country on a very personal level. This just goes to show how easy it is to be unaware and how easy it is to let unawareness, while unintentional, stand as the basis for skewed understanding.
While in Saigon, CET took our group of 12 American students (we had yet to meet our local roommates at this point) to the War Remnants Museum which consists of about 12 exhibits, each hosting a multitude of images of civilians, soldiers, and leaders of countries from all over the world. Pictures of victims and obliterated villages, stories of Agent Orange victims, and recordings and articles featuring Robert McNamara’s less-than-sensitive verbal style left a rather disgusted taste in my mouth. I found it difficult to processes why or how anyone could possibly justify attempts to “bomb [Vietnam] back to the Stone Age” in the name of saving the “free world.” Regardless of one’s political or even ideological views, American intervention in the war between North and South Vietnam was brutal and aggressive, making for one of the worst periods in American history.
After visiting the museum, I started to understand why my U.S. History textbooks had been rather hush-hush about this period in time. At first it was a cluster of rather negative emotions—frustration with the United States for such violent acts, confusion regarding how the Vietnamese people still seem to be so intrigued by the American identity, and anger in regards to my own ignorance—but I made an active decision to see it as an opportunity to understand the value of awareness, rather than let it taint the rest of my time.
Fast forward to Quảng Trị, where I have now been for the past month. I have personally witnessed the long-term implications of the war on a town that saw a great deal of fighting, and I’ve even witnessed multiple minor but interesting nuances of communism in action. For example, when curating lesson plans, talking about the government is pretty much a no-go. This fact has been rather difficult for me to grapple with because so many of the revolutionary social movements that are occurring worldwide are government-related and consist of people coming together and questioning institutions in order to expand equality to others. That seems like a really great thing, but we are not to speak of such occurrences, because they are illegal in Vietnam since it is illegal to protest, even peacefully.
This was an interesting awakening and my first encounter with communist ideals. However, while the ideals are different than those of America, it is nearly impossible to compare the two. And in this, I learned that sometimes you cannot place new experiences on the spectrum that you have created from the standards of your own life. You cannot compare Quảng Trị to some smaller, rural town in America, because they are simply too different in virtually every way. But this is cool, this is exciting! I consider this new understanding to be the second challenge that I’ve conquered (see my first post)! So even now, only four weeks later, I’ve learned to be aware of my own unawareness in order to always seek to understand more.
Throughout this trip, I’ve been confronted with experiences, places, and people that are initially difficult for me to understand, which at first was frustrating. But in that, I’ve also been confronted with the unique ability to witness and interact with a community that is seemingly completely different from me and my own, and to come to understand that we are all people working to live together and learn from each other.
And these are experiences you cannot take from Wikipedia or someone’s GoPro video of their vacation, but instead are ones you must gain through your own personal interactions and growth. Halfway through my time in Vietnam now, I’ve acquired a new sense of awareness and excitement about the world around me, and I look forward to those moments and challenges that are still undiscovered!
P.S.— The food is still really good, and I have gotten extremely good at mixing cement by hand.